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37 Painfully Funny Secret Santa Gifts (These are Hilarious)

When it comes to finding secret Santa Gifts, you have to think outside the box if you want to keep your ideas fresh. Whether you choose store bought or home-made gifts, make sure your gifts have something of a ‘wow’ factor, because nobody wants a secret Santa whose ideas are stale!

Secret Santa gifts should be fun to choose, and even more fun to open.

Tiny Hands

Tiny Hands

There are many obvious jokes to be made here, but secret Santa is never political. So we’ll move on to the next one, and say you can tell a lot about a man by the size of his hands, and…well…these teeny tiny fake hands tell a sad and sorry story!

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Happy Hipster Animal Shirts

A great ROFL-funny gift for animal lovers (and it’S uplifting!). Unique enough to make a suprisingly awesome secret santa gift and cool enough to wear all year.

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The Hungover Cookbook

The Hungover Cookbook

Have you ever wondered just what a hangover does to your mind? Put it to the test with ‘The Hungover Cookbook’ – within its bright yellow (and painful) covers you will find comfort food recipes, graphic tests, and quizzes so you can see how many brain cells the tequila killed off last night!

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Captain Jules's Useless Box

Captain Jules's Useless Box

What do you get for the person who has everything? How about a box of nothing? In fact, a box which you can’t even put things in. A box with a switch which, when pressed, activates a mechanism that does…absolutely nothing. It’s useless, in a really irritating way.

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Kikkerland Magnetic Decision Maker

Kikkerland Magnetic Decision Maker

There’s nothing worse than someone who can’t make their mind up. Or is there? I’m not sure. Anyway, if you know someone who dithers over decisions, this is like a modern day magic 8 ball – just ask it a question, swing the ball, and see what it tells you to do.

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Vladimir Putin-Scented Candle

Vladimir Putin-Scented Candle

Fans of Vladimir Putin will be Russian out to buy this scented candle, said to evoke memories of Siberian pine and burning cities. The scantily clad president adorns the lid, a sight guaranteed to light your fire, while the smell will get rid of villainous smells, pretty much like Putin himself.

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I Hate Everyone, Except You

I Hate Everyone, Except You

Have you ever read a book that made you laugh out loud, so much so that the person next to you gets up and moves away? If not, this is THE book to put that straight right away. Hilarious, irreverent, and definitely not for anyone who is easily offended.

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Outdoor Hand Painted Squirrel Tree Climber Sculpture

Outdoor Hand Painted Squirrel Tree Climber Sculpture

They say a squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit, and there’s no outfit cuter than this – at least on a rodent. Strangely life-like, this little guy is fully equipped to take on the biggest tree he can find, complete with helmet and carabiners. Ain’t no mountain high enough.

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Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

A book about putting yourself out there instead of hiding beneath the sheets when the chips are down, this hilarious, touching, and sometimes highly inappropriate (in the funniest way possible) paperback turns disaster into laughter, and will have you laughing and crying in equal measures!

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Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook

Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook

Whether you loved or hated 50 Shades of Grey, this hilarious cookbook, ’50 Shades of Chicken’ is just ‘fowl’! Full of stuffing action, naughty nibbles, and more than a bit of jerking going on, this is definitely a gift that a saucy secret Santa will want to fill someone’s stocking with.

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Prank Pack Crib Dribbler

Prank Pack Crib Dribbler

Just watch the horrified expression on a mom’s face when she unwraps this gift and sees the baby’s ‘hamster bottle’ pictured on the box! Keep a straight face as she wonders if you’re totally insane, before opening the box to find (with relief) your real gift inside.

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Dog Lion Mane

Dog Lion Mane

This gift has roar x-mas appeal for any dog owner. Someone’s furry friend can be the mane attraction while strutting his stuff in the park and letting all the other dogs know who’s boss. For a secret Santa who wants to be a-head of the rest, this is the gift to give.

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Ultimate Wine Bottle Glass

Ultimate Wine Bottle Glass

Ah, the office or neighborhood lush, who insists they’ve had ‘just the one’ glass of wine. Now they can, and they won’t be lying! This whopping wine glass holds 750ml of wine, and makes drinking from the bottle far classier than wrapping a brown paper bag around it and swigging from that.

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Accoutrements Bacon Strips Bandages

Accoutrements Bacon Strips Bandages

Bacon makes everything better. It’s a fact of life, so what could possibly make the booboos heal even faster than a bandage that looks like bacon? Nothing, is our guess. It’s genius. Do they work, we hear you cry? Of course, we wouldn’t tell you any porkers!

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Accoutrements Emergency Underpants

Accoutrements Emergency Underpants

Yeah yeah, we’ve all heard the excuse ‘Oh, I spilled my coffee’, which is really code for ‘oops, I peed my pants’. If you know someone just like that, then secret Santa can gift them this pair of emergency underpants with the utmost discretion. Or not. Whatever.

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Ticket to Hell

Ticket to Hell

Tell someone you love to hate that you have bought them a ticket to somewhere nice and hot, and then give them this devilishly naughty one way ticket to hell, (although you might be joining them with that cruel joke!) The perfect secret santa (or is it satan) gift!

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Cat Massacre Garden Gnome Statue

Cat Massacre Garden Gnome Statue

These gnomes will be feeling pretty Grumpy when they end up in the jaws of this kitty. It may look cute, but it has a huge appetite for garden ornaments, especially ones Dopey enough not to run! A great antithesis to the little guy who just sits there fishing.

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Random Crap Tote Bag

Random Crap Tote Bag

Whose bag doesn’t have a lot of random crap in it? Well, now here’s a bag which is big enough to hold it all, AND tell you what’s inside – random crap! It’s roomy, water resistant, and has a zipper so all your – yep, you guessed it – random crap doesn’t fall out.

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Anne Taintor Square Magnet

Anne Taintor Square Magnet

A gift for any mother who has ever wanted to yell, a fridge magnet to remind them that they’re not alone in feeling that way! Sarcasm, humor, and more than a sprinkling of ‘like it or lump it’, it says what every mother has wanted to say, but probably never has!

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TriceraTACO Taco Holder

TriceraTACO Taco Holder

This is one gift that a taco lover will love – everyone else might think it’s ‘corny’ but it’s actually brilliant! I mean, any Juan can see the appeal of a dinosaur holding not one but two tacos on its back, stuffing intact, and ready to be devoured.

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Emergency Compliment

Emergency Compliment

Some people are terrible at taking compliments, so tear one out, hand it to them, and they have to, whether they like it or not! This little book of emergency compliments means that you’ll never run out of nice (if a little strange) things to say, without having to say a word.

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Bag of Unicorn Farts (Cotton Candy)

Bag of Unicorn Farts (Cotton Candy)

We bet there is someone in your office who surrounds herself with unicorns, fairies, and other mystical, magical talismans. Show them that even Unicorns are human, in a manner of speaking, with a bag of Unicorn farts. A delicious packet of fruit punch flavor flatulence (or cotton candy to the rest of us.)

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The Farting Animals Coloring Book

The Farting Animals Coloring Book

Secretly, even the most refined of people think that farting is funny, so jump on the coloring bandwagon and give someone a farting animals coloring book. Relaxing and kind of gross at the same time, it’s a must-have gift for any aspiring fartist.

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Typewriter Coaster Set

Typewriter Coaster Set

If you have any budding Mark Tea-wains or H Tea Wells among your secret Santa recipients, this will be just their cup of tea! A set of coasters designed to look like an olde worlde typerwriter (for those of you old enough to remember one). Exactly the ‘type’ of gift they will love.

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8-bit LED Christmas Wreath

8-bit LED Christmas Wreath

Well this wreath is a bit of alright. Actually, it’s 8-bits of alright! For a gamers alternative to the traditional Christmas wreath, let Secret Santa bring this lightweight, light up, foam wreath to a nerd this Holiday, bringing some much needed festive, gaming nostalgia with it.

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My Drunk Kitchen: A Guide to Eating, Drinking, and Going with Your Gut

My Drunk Kitchen: A Guide to Eating, Drinking, and Going with Your Gut

A secret Santa gift for those who would rather drink the wine, than whine about the fact that their ‘vol au vents’ haven’t puffed up enough. Something missing from the recipe – chuck another slug of red in, that’ll fix it! With comedy, cooking, and lots of chianti, this is a great book for the non-cook.

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Cat Butt Magnets

Cat Butt Magnets

Here it is! The purr-fect secret Santa gift for the crazy cat lady in your life. To the lay person a cat’s butt is a cat’s butt, but to a cat lover they all look different. On a diet but hate cats? Stick them on your refrigerator – they’re guaranteed to put you off your food!

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All I Want Is Pizza And Harry Sweatshirt

All I Want Is Pizza And Harry Sweatshirt

This sweatshirt is only going in One Direction – and that’s straight under the office tree for Secret Santa! Warm, snug, and with a Harry Styles fan’s wishlist for Christmas emblazoned on the front, do you know why you should buy this for a friend? Because that’s what makes you beautiful!

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Let's Take A Cellfie: Funny Cell Biology Cross-stitch Pattern

Let's Take A Cellfie: Funny Cell Biology Cross-stitch Pattern

Cross stitch just got geeky! Are your colleagues more ‘Big Bang’ than ‘Friends’, and would run a mile from sticking a selfie on social media? Then combine handmade with hard science, and cross stitch them their very own ‘cellfie’. Go on, it’ll have them in stitches.

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Funny Taco Kitchen Cloth

Funny Taco Kitchen Cloth

Although nobody likes to taco ‘bout it, the sad truth is, there is no neat way to eat a taco! But this tea towel spills the (refried) beans and tells it like it is! So lettuce take a moment to appreciate the sheer beauty of this dishcloth, and hope we don’t spill any chilli on it.

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T-Rex Ate Your Stick Family Sticker

T-Rex Ate Your Stick Family Sticker

A fun and dysfunctional decal for your car – what more could you want? The perfect antidote to the typical ‘baby on board’ sticker, this one will chew the others up and spit them out! Putting fear into the stick figure heart of anyone who dino-saur it!

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Kempf Go Away Doormat

Kempf Go Away Doormat

Unwanted guests might just get the message with this doormat, telling them in no uncertain terms that they’re not welcome. The ideal Secret Santa gift for someone who is unfortunate enough to have uninvited visitors at their door morning, noon, and night. Long lasting, and straight to the point.

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Daddy's Diaper Duty Apron

Daddy's Diaper Duty Apron

If your secret Santa gift is going to a dad who doesn’t diaper, this gag apron will leave him with no excuses as it keeps everything to hand – rubber gloves, clothespin for his nose, face mask and even a pair of emergency nipples, proving that a man CAN do anything a woman can do!

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Previously, On...: Guess the TV Series

Previously, On...: Guess the TV Series

Telly addicts will love this game, proving that binge watching IS good for you, or at least good for your score. Guess which TV show the card depicts, and you win that point. Each card/show also features interesting facts from each, so you can gain even more useless knowledge!

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Diego The Dinosaur Toothbrush Holder

Diego The Dinosaur Toothbrush Holder

Nothing worse than a tooth that’s sore-us, so make brushing fun with Diego the Dinosaur. He’ll sit there bright and cheerful on the bathroom shelf, making sure your teeth don’t become a Tyrannosaurus Wreck, and he’s made of plastic so he won’t get Stegosaur-rus-ty.

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Cork Cactus Desk Clutter

Cork Cactus Desk Clutter

Cacti are the easiest plant to look after, but this one is even easier! This cute little fella is made from cork, and the pushpins are its spikes, meaning you can stick notes, photos, or whatever else you want to be reminded of, (or use it as an effigy of someone really annoying!)

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Bear Hand Oven Mitts

Bear Hand Oven Mitts

Show them you’re made of steel by taking a hot dish out of the oven with your bear hands! That’s right, these heat resistant bear paws make handling hot stuff a piece of cake. They make a great gift for guys who bearly know their way around the kitchen.

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Rogz Fun Dog Treat Ball

Rogz Fun Dog Treat Ball

When you’re feeling ruff, your furry friend will always cheer you up. But how much better would it be if he actually smiled? This gift, which is perfect for secret Santa, will make you both smile – Fido because he’s getting his treats, and you because…well…he looks so doggone daft!

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More Good Secret Santa Gift Ideas


13 DIY Secret Santa Gift Ideas

DIY Pink Mason Jar Candles

DIY Pink Mason Jar Candles


Mason jars come into their own again with this super simple idea for DIY gifts, turning plain into pretty awesome! Most crafters have Mod Podge lying around, so dig it out along with some food coloring, and make these beautiful tinted jar candles to light up someone’s Christmas.

No Sew Flannel Blanket Scarf

No Sew Flannel Blanket Scarf


When the weather outside is frightful, these scarves are so delightful. Why? Because they are warm, look good, and are the easiest DIY project you could make (and they look mega expensive – bonus!) Soft, warm, and comforting, they only require two things – fabric, and scissors.

Very Merry Cupcakes

Very Merry Cupcakes


When is a gate not a gate? When it’s a-jar! And this jar is crammed full of cupcake gorgeousness, all ready to be mixed and baked. Decorate the jar in festive festoons, write or print some instructions and give them the gift of yumminess, for a home-made taste without the hassle.

Simple Mason Jar Secret Santa Gifts

Simple Mason Jar Secret Santa Gifts


Mason jars are the DIY gifter’s best friend, and it’s not hard to see why. Fill one with treats you know someone would like, whether they are a chocoholic, cosmeticaholic, or bathaholic, print out a personalized label, and with a length of ribbon and a little panache you have the perfect secret Santa gift!

DIY Infused Liquors

DIY Infused Liquors


More of a sloshed Santa than a secret one? Then how about making your own DIY infused liquors? Just imagine, sumptuous strawberries, popping peppers, and seasonal cinnamon. And booze. Lots of yummy booze. All sitting pretty in decorated jars. Very adult gifts for those who like a tipple.

Simple Leather Diaper Clutch

Simple Leather Diaper Clutch


Is there a new mom among your secret Santa members this year? Packets of diapers are big and bulky, and sometimes it would be great to have a stylish purse to slip a couple of them into, instead. This tutorial shows you how to make a simple but elegant leather diaper clutch for the stylish mom.

DIY Speckled Dip Mug

DIY Speckled Dip Mug


Mugs. No, not you! We’re talking about those things you can never have enough of! But instead of buying generic ones, have a go at pimping them up yourself. Plain mugs CAN go to the ball with you as their fairy godmother, armed with paint, masking tape, and a bit of imagination.

Easy Secret Santa Gift

Easy Secret Santa Gift


Turn some boring bottles of soda into Christmas works of art with this super easy but effective idea. With a few well-chosen craft pieces, you will soon have a six pack any secret Santa would be proud of! And why stop at soda? The store is your seasonal alcoholic smorgasbord!

Infused Bath Salts

Infused Bath Salts


Let’s face it, bath salts can be a bit…well, boring. But if you make them yourself, well, that’s another story! People appreciate the time and effort of homemade gifts, and these infused bath salts are quick, easy, and effective. (And your secret Santa recipient will think of you every time they have a bath!)

Race Bib And Medal Display

Race Bib And Medal Display


This is a very cool idea for a gift for anyone who’s a runner. A place to display their race card, along with their medals, all against a backdrop of inspirational words. Not only is it useful, but it looks great and can be shabbied up or down to suit. It’s definitely a winner!

Cozy Slippers

Cozy Slippers


Slippers, those good old-fashioned but unexciting staples of the secret Santa! You can jazz them up though, by slipping a few goodies inside – chocolate, cosmetics, and face masks are all good for putting the fun into functional, and they’re all practical, too.

DIY Bow Tie

DIY Bow Tie


Bow ties are cool – you just have to look at Matt Smith in Dr Who to see that! These patterns are so simple to follow that you could be everyone’s secret Santa (well, for the guys anyway, not sure the girls will suit them quite as well). Go on, put some style into the season.

DIY Painted Vase

DIY Painted Vase


Every home should have at least one vase, and by putting your own touches to a plain, clear one you can customize it to suit any recipient. With a few brush strokes, you can produce a vase worthy of the term ‘art nouveau’ for a very classy secret Santa idea.

DIY Geometric Coasters

DIY Geometric Coasters


Throw some shapes at the office Christmas party this year with a ‘puzzling’ secret Santa gift that will fascinate them. Made from cork, these geometric shapes can be colored to suit any environment, and can be used individually or put together to make a trivet for pans.

(You may also like: 50 Funny White Elephant Gift Ideas)

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