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33 Painfully Funny Secret Santa Gifts

When it comes to finding secret Santa Gifts, you have to think outside the box if you want to keep your ideas fresh. Whether you choose store bought or home-made gifts, make sure your gifts have something of a ‘wow’ factor, because nobody wants a secret Santa whose ideas are stale!

Kikkerland Magnetic Decision Maker

Kikkerland Magnetic Decision Maker

There’s nothing worse than someone who can’t make their mind up. Or is there? I’m not sure. Anyway, if you know someone who dithers over decisions, this is like a modern day magic 8 ball – just ask it a question, swing the ball, and see what it tells you to do.

Related: 30 Funny Gag Gifts for Older People

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Captain Jules's Useless Box

Captain Jules's Useless Box

What do you get for the person who has everything? How about a box of nothing? In fact, a box which you can’t even put things in. A box with a switch which, when pressed, activates a mechanism that does…absolutely nothing. It’s useless, in a really irritating way.

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Tiny Hands

Tiny Hands

There are many obvious jokes to be made here, but secret Santa is never political. So we’ll move on to the next one, and say you can tell a lot about a man by the size of his hands, and…well…these teeny tiny fake hands tell a sad and sorry story!

Related: White Elephant Gift Ideas

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Outdoor Hand Painted Squirrel Tree Climber Sculpture

Outdoor Hand Painted Squirrel Tree Climber Sculpture

They say a squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit, and there’s no outfit cuter than this – at least on a rodent. Strangely life-like, this little guy is fully equipped to take on the biggest tree he can find, complete with helmet and carabiners. Ain’t no mountain high enough.

View more: Gag Gift Ideas

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Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook

Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook

Whether you loved or hated 50 Shades of Grey, this hilarious cookbook, ’50 Shades of Chicken’ is just ‘fowl’! Full of stuffing action, naughty nibbles, and more than a bit of jerking going on, this is definitely a gift that a saucy secret Santa will want to fill someone’s stocking with.

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The Hungover Cookbook

The Hungover Cookbook

Have you ever wondered just what a hangover does to your mind? Put it to the test with ‘The Hungover Cookbook’ – within its bright yellow (and painful) covers you will find comfort food recipes, graphic tests, and quizzes so you can see how many brain cells the tequila killed off last night!

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Ultimate Wine Bottle Glass

Ultimate Wine Bottle Glass

Ah, the office or neighborhood lush, who insists they’ve had ‘just the one’ glass of wine. Now they can, and they won’t be lying! This whopping wine glass holds 750ml of wine, and makes drinking from the bottle far classier than wrapping a brown paper bag around it and swigging from that.

View more: Gag Gifts for Women

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Accoutrements Bacon Strips Bandages

Accoutrements Bacon Strips Bandages

Bacon makes everything better. It’s a fact of life, so what could possibly make the booboos heal even faster than a bandage that looks like bacon? Nothing, is our guess. It’s genius. Do they work, we hear you cry? Of course, we wouldn’t tell you any porkers!

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Accoutrements Emergency Underpants

Accoutrements Emergency Underpants

Yeah yeah, we’ve all heard the excuse ‘Oh, I spilled my coffee’, which is really code for ‘oops, I peed my pants’. If you know someone just like that, then secret Santa can gift them this pair of emergency underpants with the utmost discretion. Or not. Whatever.

View more: Gag Gifts for Men

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Prank Pack Crib Dribbler

Prank Pack Crib Dribbler

Just watch the horrified expression on a mom’s face when she unwraps this gift and sees the baby’s ‘hamster bottle’ pictured on the box! Keep a straight face as she wonders if you’re totally insane, before opening the box to find (with relief) your real gift inside.

View more: 32 Funny Prank Gift Boxes

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Cat Massacre Garden Gnome Statue

Cat Massacre Garden Gnome Statue

These gnomes will be feeling pretty Grumpy when they end up in the jaws of this kitty. It may look cute, but it has a huge appetite for garden ornaments, especially ones Dopey enough not to run! A great antithesis to the little guy who just sits there fishing.

View more: Funny Cat Gifts

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TriceraTACO Taco Holder

TriceraTACO Taco Holder

This is one gift that a taco lover will love – everyone else might think it’s ‘corny’ but it’s actually brilliant! I mean, any Juan can see the appeal of a dinosaur holding not one but two tacos on its back, stuffing intact, and ready to be devoured.

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Emergency Compliment

Emergency Compliment

Some people are terrible at taking compliments, so tear one out, hand it to them, and they have to, whether they like it or not! This little book of emergency compliments means that you’ll never run out of nice (if a little strange) things to say, without having to say a word.

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Cat Butt Magnets

Cat Butt Magnets

Here it is! The purr-fect secret Santa gift for the crazy cat lady in your life. To the lay person a cat’s butt is a cat’s butt, but to a cat lover they all look different. On a diet but hate cats? Stick them on your refrigerator – they’re guaranteed to put you off your food!

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Ticket to Hell

Ticket to Hell

Tell someone you love to hate that you have bought them a ticket to somewhere nice and hot, and then give them this devilishly naughty one way ticket to hell, (although you might be joining them with that cruel joke!) The perfect secret santa (or is it satan) gift!

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I Hate Everyone, Except You

I Hate Everyone, Except You

Have you ever read a book that made you laugh out loud, so much so that the person next to you gets up and moves away? If not, this is THE book to put that straight right away. Hilarious, irreverent, and definitely not for anyone who is easily offended.

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Dog Lion Mane

Dog Lion Mane

This gift has roar x-mas appeal for any dog owner. Someone’s furry friend can be the mane attraction while strutting his stuff in the park and letting all the other dogs know who’s boss. For a secret Santa who wants to be a-head of the rest, this is the gift to give.

View more: Funny Gifts for Kids with Dogs

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Bag of Unicorn Farts (Cotton Candy)

Bag of Unicorn Farts (Cotton Candy)

We bet there is someone in your office who surrounds herself with unicorns, fairies, and other mystical, magical talismans. Show them that even Unicorns are human, in a manner of speaking, with a bag of Unicorn farts. A delicious packet of fruit punch flavor flatulence (or cotton candy to the rest of us.)

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DIY Infused Liquors

DIY Infused Liquors

More of a sloshed Santa than a secret one? Then how about making your own DIY infused liquors? Just imagine, sumptuous strawberries, popping peppers, and seasonal cinnamon. And booze. Lots of yummy booze. All sitting pretty in decorated jars. Very adult gifts for those who like a tipple.

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The Farting Animals Coloring Book

The Farting Animals Coloring Book

Secretly, even the most refined of people think that farting is funny, so jump on the coloring bandwagon and give someone a farting animals coloring book. Relaxing and kind of gross at the same time, it’s a must-have gift for any aspiring fartist.

View more: Gifts for Animal Lovers

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8-bit LED Christmas Wreath

8-bit LED Christmas Wreath

Well this wreath is a bit of alright. Actually, it’s 8-bits of alright! For a gamers alternative to the traditional Christmas wreath, let Secret Santa bring this lightweight, light up, foam wreath to a nerd this Holiday, bringing some much needed festive, gaming nostalgia with it.

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Bear Hand Oven Mitts

Bear Hand Oven Mitts

Show them you’re made of steel by taking a hot dish out of the oven with your bear hands! That’s right, these heat resistant bear paws make handling hot stuff a piece of cake. They make a great gift for guys who bearly know their way around the kitchen.

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Random Crap Tote Bag

Random Crap Tote Bag

Whose bag doesn’t have a lot of random crap in it? Well, now here’s a bag which is big enough to hold it all, AND tell you what’s inside – random crap! It’s roomy, water resistant, and has a zipper so all your – yep, you guessed it – random crap doesn’t fall out.

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Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

A book about putting yourself out there instead of hiding beneath the sheets when the chips are down, this hilarious, touching, and sometimes highly inappropriate (in the funniest way possible) paperback turns disaster into laughter, and will have you laughing and crying in equal measures!

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Diego The Dinosaur Toothbrush Holder

Diego The Dinosaur Toothbrush Holder

Nothing worse than a tooth that’s sore-us, so make brushing fun with Diego the Dinosaur. He’ll sit there bright and cheerful on the bathroom shelf, making sure your teeth don’t become a Tyrannosaurus Wreck, and he’s made of plastic so he won’t get Stegosaur-rus-ty.

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Kempf Go Away Doormat

Kempf Go Away Doormat

Unwanted guests might just get the message with this doormat, telling them in no uncertain terms that they’re not welcome. The ideal Secret Santa gift for someone who is unfortunate enough to have uninvited visitors at their door morning, noon, and night. Long lasting, and straight to the point.

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Simple Mason Jar Secret Santa Gifts

Simple Mason Jar Secret Santa Gifts

Mason jars are the DIY gifter’s best friend, and it’s not hard to see why. Fill one with treats you know someone would like, whether they are a chocoholic, cosmeticaholic, or bathaholic, print out a personalized label, and with a length of ribbon and a little panache you have the perfect secret Santa gift!

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Cork Cactus Desk Clutter

Cork Cactus Desk Clutter

Cacti are the easiest plant to look after, but this one is even easier! This cute little fella is made from cork, and the pushpins are its spikes, meaning you can stick notes, photos, or whatever else you want to be reminded of, (or use it as an effigy of someone really annoying!)

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Rogz Fun Dog Treat Ball

Rogz Fun Dog Treat Ball

When you’re feeling ruff, your furry friend will always cheer you up. But how much better would it be if he actually smiled? This gift, which is perfect for secret Santa, will make you both smile – Fido because he’s getting his treats, and you because…well…he looks so doggone daft!

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Previously, On...: Guess the TV Series

Previously, On...: Guess the TV Series

Telly addicts will love this game, proving that binge watching IS good for you, or at least good for your score. Guess which TV show the card depicts, and you win that point. Each card/show also features interesting facts from each, so you can gain even more useless knowledge!

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Easy Secret Santa Gift

Easy Secret Santa Gift

Turn some boring bottles of soda into Christmas works of art with this super easy but effective idea. With a few well-chosen craft pieces, you will soon have a six pack any secret Santa would be proud of! And why stop at soda? The store is your seasonal alcoholic smorgasbord!

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Funny Taco Kitchen Cloth

Funny Taco Kitchen Cloth

Although nobody likes to taco ‘bout it, the sad truth is, there is no neat way to eat a taco! But this tea towel spills the (refried) beans and tells it like it is! So lettuce take a moment to appreciate the sheer beauty of this dishcloth, and hope we don’t spill any chilli on it.

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Anne Taintor Square Magnet

Anne Taintor Square Magnet

A gift for any mother who has ever wanted to yell, a fridge magnet to remind them that they’re not alone in feeling that way! Sarcasm, humor, and more than a sprinkling of ‘like it or lump it’, it says what every mother has wanted to say, but probably never has!

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