Some of the best gifts for old people are the ones that make them laugh and poke fun at just how old they are. Living long is an accomplishment, and this is a way to celebrate it while also having fun with some of the things that come along with old age.
You're Only Old Once!
This book takes the popular phrase “You’re only young once.” and turns it on its head. It’s true that you’re only old once, and there are facets to being old that you can appreciate instead of lament. Leave it to Dr. Seuss to make being old bearable.
Slow Mover Sign
So they’re not moving as fast as they used to, and now they need a sign to let everyone know that they’re going to slow down the line. This sign is great to hang up next to their favorite chair or other preferred spot.
Don’t we all wish it was this easy? Here’s a way to show them that there’s no way to take off the years, so they might as well get used to being old. It will be funny to see the look on their face when they see what sort of eraser this is.
Gag Hearing Aid
This hearing aid is more like a cone that they hold to their ear so they can hear what’s going on. This makes a great gift for a old person that refuses to get hearing aids for whatever reason, and gives them the next best thing.
These mints are specifically designed for those senior moments, and are designed to be extra strength so they can remember things better. Of course the joke is that these don’t really improve their memory, they’re just a funny gag that points out their senility.
Senior Moments Board Game
This board game is all about having fun, even if you don’t remember having that fun a few hours later. A great choice for seniors that are self aware that they have senior moments, and used to enjoy a good board game in their younger days.
These socks will lend them a hand when they can’t remember where they’re supposed to go. It’s a funny way to make sure that they put their socks on the right way, and even funnier if they end up putting them on the wrong feet.
Golf Ball Storage Sack
Is grandpa a golfer? This golf ball storage sack has a funny bit of innuendo to it but it’ll also store up to 5 golf balls while he hits the tees. It clips to his bag too so he won’t have to worry about misplacing or dropping it. He’ll surely get a good laugh from all his golf buddies with this gift.
Folding LED Walking Cane
Surely they must have at least a couple of walking canes scattered around the house. This one is the ultimate all-in-one cane that’ll make their life easier. It stands on its own, it has a built-in LED light and it folds up. Your grandparents will be the hippest around with this cane.
Jumbo Playing Cards
This deck of cards was pretty much designed for seniors whose sight is starting to go. The cards are massive and they should have no trouble seeing what they’re playing. You know you’re getting old when you need to play with these cards!
Extra Long Handle Shoehorn
Usually the saying is that “stuff” happens, but in this case it’s just as accurate to say that old happens, because it does. This button will look so funny on them, especially if they’re celebrating a birthday that is up there.
Are they always complaining about how difficult text is to read? If so this magnifying glass would be perfect for them. It’s kind of a funny way of saying that you’re tired of reading those small labels and stickers for them. It’ll help in more ways than one.
Senior's Texting Code Mug
You might think that text speak is lost on the older generation, but they have a whole list of acronyms that they use themselves. This mug is printed on both sides with eight of them, so the grandkids can get down with the oldies and understand just what it is they’re saying.
Don't Forget My Discount T-Shirt
There are a few perks to getting older; you tend to care less about what people think, you’re comfortable in your own skin, and you get discount in lots of stores! This t-shirt is a cheeky way for the elders to ask for some money off their purchases without having to say a word.
Senior Driver Car Magnet
Make sure other motorists are aware that the driver in front might be living life in the slow lane by attaching this fun magnet to their car. Measuring 8” x 8”, this bright yellow sign features a pair of elderly people hobbling with their walking sticks, along with ‘Caution Senior Driver’.
As we age, we tend to feel the cold more, especially in the extremities. Help keep an old man’s old man warm and toasty this winter with the Peter Heater. Made to look like a homemade knitted gift, this bright red garment will ensure he doesn’t shrivel up with the cold.
How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man
If there’s an old man in your life who speaks as he finds and doesn’t care who he offends, ‘How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man’ will make an excellent funny gag gift for him. Illustrated with 250 scenes along with totally un-pc text, this book is not for the easily offended.
Ear Trumpet for The Hard of Hearing
Losing our hearing can be a blessing in disguise, as it means we can be selective about what we want to listen to. This long neck ear trumpet will ensure they can’t pretend not to hear what you say, and would make a great retirement gift for someone with a sense of humor.
Over the Hill Survival Kit
This Over The Hill Survival Kit will make a fabulously funny gag gift for older people, as it contains all the things they’ll need to navigate their senior years. From the replacement marbles to the lollipop for when life sucks, the tin also comes with an explanatory card so they know what’s what.
Husband and Wife Statue
So maybe their days of road trips are over, but that doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy the memories of life on two wheels. This super sweet figurine shows a flat-capped old man on a scooter with his wife sitting side-saddle behind him, and they’re both wearing the most adorable smiles ever.
Caution Old People Having Fun Sign
They can keep this sign up all the time, or use it as a way to warn visiting grandkids that they’re up to no good, but either way, this sign will make a great gift. Proving that fun doesn’t belong to the young, this wooden square reads ‘Caution, Old People Having Fun’.
Old People Soap
Although the label on this soap says it smells like instant coffee and cough drops, in actual fact it has a gorgeous scent of wildflowers. Labelled as ‘soap for old people’, this funny gift makes a delightful addition to their bathroom (and might even mask the smell of heat lotion!)
Spa in a Jar
Give them the gift of relaxation with this spa in a jar set. It includes everything they need to pamper themselves and feel good. There are scrubs and other cleansers that will exfoliate them and leave them feeling ultra clean.
Peep Gift Boxes
Does the senior you’re getting a gift for have one of those weekly pill boxes? These gift boxes look exactly like those containers but instead of pills, they contain those delicious marshmallow peeps that everyone loves. They also have some very clever puns printed on them for added hilarity.
DIY Eyewear Chain
This eyewear chain can be used for reading glasses, or their regular glasses, and keeps them nearby for when they’re needed. It’s a classic sort of way for old people to hold their glasses, and if they don’t have one yet this makes a great gift.
Shower Balance Assist Bar
Like a kid, seniors have lots of troubles with their balance. This bar can be installed just about anywhere to keep them on their feet and actually prevent serious injuries. It uses suction cups so it can be installed and removed quickly and easily. Place it all throughout the house for the most laughs!
Vehicle Standing Aid
If they’re starting to have some troubles getting in and out of the car then this little gadget can help save them the struggle and embarrassment. It wraps around the door window frame to give them a handle that acts as a helping hand for getting in and out.
Ear and Nose Hair Trimmer
Chances are they’ve got some hair in those ears, and probably don’t even know it. Help them out by getting them this gift that gets in there and gets it all trimmed. It also works on nose hair and eyebrows, two other spots with wild growth for old people.
Portable Voice Amplifier
When their voice starts to get a bit softer it can be tough to hear what they’re saying. This device has a microphone and a speaker that’ll basically amplify whatever they’re trying to say so they can be heard well at their next game of bingo at the senior centre.
Garden Tool Set With Stool
This gift is perfect for the gardener who loves to rest. It includes a whole bunch of helpful tools, but the best part is that it has a seat so they can pop a squat while tending to their plants and crops. Gardening has never been easier and more relaxing.
Wooden Eyeglass Stand
Give them a good place to store one of their many pairs of glasses with this very appropriate stand. It’s shaped like a nose and will hold any pair of glasses that gets the most use. It’s perfect for the senior who’s always misplacing their glasses.
DIY Telephone Bookends
They’re sure to remember these old style telephones, so you’re giving them a piece of their past in the form of a bookend. Maybe they’re so old they used an even older style phone, but those are antiques that are becoming harder to find.
Macs For Seniors For Dummies
Trying to get seniors on board with the latest technology can be very tedious and difficult. The Dummies series is back at it again with a very helpful book that explains Macs on a very simple level. Now grandma and grandpa can join Facebook too and send you pictures of Lolcats all day long!
Can't Find a Thing Bag
Is grandma always misplacing stuff? This tote is perfect for seniors who love going on day trips and hanging out at the beach or having picnics in the field. There’s so much room in this bag that it almost seems bottomless but at least they’ll be able to pack along everything they’ll need for the day.
Upgrade their favorite spot on the sofa with this caddy that will hold everything they need for some good TV watching. It includes several pockets so they can store the TV guide, their favorite book, and the remote control.
No Sew Scented Sachets
These sachets go into their drawers to keep everything smelling nice, and prevents the classic “old person smell”. The dried lavender potpourri they’re using for this is going to smell great, and is better than mothball smell so common with old people.
DIY Go Away Sign
There’s no need for salespeople to bother them, and this sign lets solicitors know that this is no house to come to. It says “Step Off My Step!” and further says that there are no salespeople allowed on the property.
DIY Hug Pillow
Old people need hugs too, and this hug pillow can help them feel loved even if you can’t visit with them every day. You can make the arms match the size of their grandkids so that they can feel the love come through.
The Original Slinky
They’ll probably remember this old school slinky, either getting it as a kid or giving it to one of their children, depending on just how old they are. Today’s Slinky is much more posh, and this old one goes make to its metallic days.
OXO Jar Opener
Sometimes seniors have the most difficult time getting lids off of cans, even when you put it on as lightly as possible. This tool grabs lids of just about any size to give them the grip and leverage they’ll need to pop that top. No more grandparents having to ask you to remove the lid for them!
Shower Back Scrubber
This back scrubber is like a giant toothbrush for their back. They can finally clean those hard-to-reach places with ease. It also doubles as a back scratcher which, frankly, everyone would love. It’s like a sponge bath that they can give themselves!
Here’s the perfect tote for an old person to take to their next bingo event. It features a bingo card on the side of it, and is the perfect size to hold all of their stuff. It is very stylish, even though the design is rather simple.
(Read this next: 42 Hilarious Gag Gift Ideas)